The Devil you know or the Devil you don't?

Last week, I would have completed the first phase of P90X. I say "would have" because there were days that I was not as diligent as I should have been with the workout schedule. I stuck to the diet. I am proud of myself for that.

After 28 days of the diet and about two=thirds of the workouts complete, I have lost 23 pounds and I see muscle definition that I have never had in my life. There was nothing easy about it.

Early on, I thought about and wrote about the possibility of getting complacent with the results that I have seen and hoped that I would push forward and continue with the program. I am wondering if that has happened and I am trying to mask it or, more aptly, make excuses for long hours of work and lack of free time to do so.

For the last week, I've stayed with the first phase of the program. I've tried to make up for the missed workouts and I think I have done this. Today, I took a peek at the phase two workouts. Holy Crap!

So, here is my thought process. Have I done my best? I knew going into this, it was going to be difficult. Have I done my best? Upon seeing the next phase of work outs, am I ready for the next level? Have I done my best? I don't think I have.

Maybe it is possible that I am seeing the tougher road ahead and I am questioning whether or not I have prepared myself. Maybe I am seeing this and I am doubting my ability to do it. I recall many times that I doubted my ability to get this far. I got here, but it was not without a few short cuts. Have I done my best?

Hind-sight is 20/20. The phase one workouts have gotten easier to do, not easy by any means. The phase two workouts are going to get much harder.

Deja vu... It is so easy to think back at how we could have done things differently, once we get that glimpse forward. Part of me is considering starting phase one, from the beginning and not making the excuses for not following the schedule as it is laid out. Part of me wants to move forward with phase two, learning from the mistakes that I admittedly made with phase one. The rest of me just wants a bacon sandwich, dripping with bar-b-que sauce and a towering pile of curly fries.

All of me thinks that P90X should include an additional DVD, offering psychological help to people that struggle with things this brings about. I really don't know where to go from here.