Day 3- What ever motivates you.

I am not sure if this is really happening or if my brain is just freaking out by the extreme level of Hell that I have been putting my body through. Last night, before I went to bed, I removed my shirt and stood in front of the bathroom mirror.

I have not had a photo taken of myself with my shirt off, since I was (maybe) ten or eleven-years old. Even before doing this, I never took photos of myself to have a “before” comparison. I know what I looked like, before. I don’t need a photo to remind me. Again, I was never obese. I really don’t consider myself to be fat. I do know, however, that I could shed a few pounds and work on muscle tone and be healthier. I still don’t want people to see me without my shirt.

Anyway… Last night I am standing, shirtless, in front of the mirror. I could swear that I was seeing the beginning of a set of 6 pack abs. It was more like a 2-pack. It was the 2 at the end of the plastic ring holder thingy. It was the 2 that remained in the plastic holder thingy when you don’t pull them out before putting the 6-pack in the fridge. Is it possible to see that, this soon?

They weren’t going to be mistaken for anything seen in the movie “300”, but I thought I could see the beginning of them. I was so excited. I have never seen anything like that before. Not sure if I am really seeing it, now or if I am just seeing what I want to see.

This morning, I woke up at 4:30am, beating my alarm clock by a half hour, again. However, this morning was different. I opened my eyes and wanted to cry. I could not move. I was so sore. Everything was hurting me. It was horrible. All I could do was close my eyes and go back to sleep, hoping I was having a nightmare.

It was not a nightmare. It was very real and very painful. I hit the snooze bar four times, this morning. I hated the fact that I did it, each time that I did it. I hated it as much as I hated not hitting it a fifth time and getting out of bed. I don’t understand that.

Today, I made an egg white omelet filled with turkey sausage. It was a nice change of pace. I also had a protein drink before my workout. Today was “Arms, Shoulders and Back” along with “Ab Ripper X”. I really did not like the sound of that. I got a late start, so I could not do the ab workout…oh, darn. I will do that, tonight. At least, I have every intention of doing that, tonight.

It was a tough morning. Once again, the warm up was killing me. The entire thing was about an hour long. I did very well for the first thirty minutes. After that, I just started going through the motions. I did that for about ten minutes and then could not even do that anymore.

I felt so guilty about stopping when I did, but I just could not continue. It’s not that I really did not want to keep going. I could not keep going. Two hours later, I had showered, dressed, packed the snack they call lunch and was on my way to work. I stopped to get gas. While standing between my truck and the gas pump, I realized that I actually felt pretty good. It occurred to me that after having gone through Hell and not even being able to go all the way through it, I felt stronger, I felt like I had more energy than I did a week ago when I just woke up, showered, dressed went to work and stopped at McDonald’s for a breakfast burrito on my way in. As sore as I was, I still felt better than I had felt in a long time.

That excited me, but also made me feel even guiltier about hitting that snooze bar so many times, this morning. Later that morning, I noticed something else. When I turned my palm upward and made a fist, I saw the muscles in my arm between my wrist and elbow move and roll around. How cool is that? I’ve never seen that before! A few hours later, it was still doing it. Holy Crap! This is awesome.

Well, damn…what else is happening, here? I looked down at my leg. I was wearing shorts. My calves had this strange look about them. I could actually see the contour of the curvature where one muscle would lay over another…or what ever it is they do. I had tone. At the very least, I could see the beginning of what would end up being muscle tone. I could differentiate different muscles…and they moved…independently. It hurt like Hell when they did, but THEY DID. That was frikkin’ amazing to me. I’ve never seen anything like that on my own legs, before.

And it did not stop there. I noticed similar things going on with the backs of my upper arm. This was not as obvious as what was going on with my calves, but it was obvious that something was starting.

I talk to people that tell me they have tried to do it and could not. I understand why. I may be joining them, but I am going to try my hardest not to. My friend Beth put it in the greatest perspective. I told her that she was like Forrest Gump’s mom. She always had a way to putting things in a way that I could easily understand. She said that she tried it, but could not complete it. She said that a fitness program should leave her tired, but invigorated. P90X made her contemplate mounting handicap rails around her bathroom because her legs would not work and allow her top get off of the toilet. It’s not funny when you can relate to it.

Another friend of mine, Kate, is motivating me in her own special way. Each day that I tell her that I have stayed with the program, did not cheat on the diet and did my best with the workout, she emails me images of hot chicks and sexy models or celebrities in bikinis or lingerie and tells me that I am one day closer to being able to steal this woman away from her boyfriend. THAT, my friends, is what I call motivation and one helluva support group!